Fear is an invincible monster. Just like a gigantic furious angry cheetah would tear every bit of your body, so does fear. Fear engulfs human beings and tears our rationality, tears our wittiness, tears our love, tears our reasoning, tear our willpower, tear our wisdom, tear our foresight, tear our courage and leave us to die.
Fear is non- forgiving. It a respecter of no person; whether it is a president, a mother, a child, a teacher, a cat, a dog, a killer, a macho man, each one of us has in their lifetimes faced fear. Fear cannot be seen, we only feel it. Fear is deceiving because sometimes we don’t even know that fear is within us. We never recognize when fear is killing us and killing our dreams, killing the dreams of our loved ones and killing the society.
However time is NOW to recognize the monster and overcome it through the right information and practicing the truth.
Fear is an illusion that originate from uncertainty.It is an illusion of things going wrong direction when we are not in control. We can overcome fear by accepting uncertainty.
So chose to be a courageous Life Lover, who accept and welcome life uncertain episodes as they unfold.
Why do parents force you into career you don’t want?
Parents can be dictating children career choices due to their undocumented fears. The fears can arise from many sources. Most common sources of fears are as follows:
1) Economic based fear: Some careers pays more than others. However this should not be the main determinant of one’s career choice. People are different and people are fulfilled by different things. Some people are happier with more money and thus may prefer careers that are easy to generate income such as investment banking; other careers are spiritually filling such as social worker who finds solace in helping people. Parents have to understand that children are human beings who have their own life paths, needs and aspirations. If as a parent you fear that you child will face economic difficulties if the child follow certain career path that are deemed less paying, understand that money is very important but not everything. Guide, support and love your child.
2) Happiness based fear: If there is one thing that is common to all human, it the pursuit of happiness. Everyone wants to be happy. People fall in love to be happy. People seek peace to coexist in harmony and thus be happy. Some people even kill in pursuit for happiness (for instance someone who kills a cheating spouse to feel happy). Yes everyone deserves happiness. Some careers have illusion of happiness. Consider acting, imagine how beautiful top rated actress portrays happiness and thus people might assume acting, singing and other limelight careers deliver more happiness to the owners compared to science based career such as physicist. People might have illusion that a physicists such as Albert Einstein was not happy compared to renowned limelight diva Marilyn Monroe. The assumption is wrong. What people fail to grasp is that both were fulfilling their passion which resulted to happiness. Parents let your children chose their career paths. Don’t worry whether there will be happy or not. Happiness is everywhere and in everything. All types of careers have an iota of happiness within them.
3) Status based fear: A major culprit. It is common to find parents who are worried whether their children will become someone of importance. You will find parents who are big bank managers, or a serious professor, who cannot stomach the thought of their child becoming an elementary teacher. The parent fears are justifiable by society. The parents’ worries what will become of “status-less” children. No one want to recognize or do favors to an unknown elementary teacher. (The mother can’t sleep well, when she thinks of the major deal she got because of her connection: Her banking position exposures her to who is who in the arena of favors and deals). She worries that the children might not fair well in society if they don’t pursue certain careers. Happiness is more important than status. Peace of mind is more justifiable than status. Dear parent, don’t worry; your child will be alright.They have a life to live and enjoy. Just guide but DON’T impose some career choices on them. Parents relax, it is better for your child to be a happy accountant than a big cracked-ass business person.
4) Lack of Knowledge based fear: Sometime I make decision without proper knowledge. Later on knowingly or unknowingly I pay dearly for my decision. When I moved to USA, I made a decision to be open to exotic food. Born and breed in Ikinu, a small village in central Kenya, I never got the luxury of trying exotic food.
In 2010 my classmate wanted to take me out for dinner. He told me to chose the restaurant. During my evening marketing class, two of my classmates were sharing their Sashimi (American call it “Sushi”) eating escapade. I made a decision to try Sushi based on my classmate story. I eagerly pronounced that we should try “Sushi”. Around 7 PM, the guy picked me up and we ended up in a corner “Sushi” restaurant in Baltimore downtown.
Woo ah, I just wish I researched what “Sushi” was before opening my wide mouth. Oh, I sat there watching prince charming enjoy the meal, while I regretted having not done my research. I also feared to let prince charming know that I did not know what Sushi was. So instead of eating raw fish, I had to fake that I had menstrual cramps.
Just because of limited/lack of knowledge some parent force career choice on their children.
You will find parents who want their kids to pursue career paths they themselves don’t know what the job involves. Some parents just like the sound of having a daughter who is a medical doctor, a son who is a lawyer, a twin daughter who is aeronautical engineer, but ask them what those position mean or entail, you will be shocked because they have no idea. Some parents reject some of their children career choice based on stereotypes, ( E.g. A parent can hate the job of “beautician” just because it is stereotyped to earning less compared to accountant. There are higher paid beautician “millionaire”) Please research, equip yourself with needed information and loving guide your children.
5) Acceptance based fear: I want to be accepted, however I would be happier with people who accept my weirdness than people who dictate I behave “normal” for them to accept me. Just like everything else, they are careers that the society find acceptable compared to some. Some people feel that they have to behave “normal” and be in a “normal” career to be acceptable to society. This is a big illusion, because no human being is normal or abnormal. We are all unique in our own ways. We can fool the outside world that we fit in certain cliques, groups, organization but deep within we know we are unique, and we would appreciate a society that accept our uniqueness. Parent loss the undocumented fear of whether you child career choice is acceptable or not. Even though a child want to become a “Life Lover CEO” Guide them DON’T impose career on them. Been weird is cool than been “normal”.
Next: You Are Unique